Surrendered to Christ

Summer 2010 Playlist

2010-07-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

For the first time in my life, I like so many different genres of music right now! My favorite is probably British Pop/Indie Electronic. I'll break it down and give you a sample of what you might hear if we were sharing headphones.

Lily Allen: Who'd Have Known
Stars: Set Yourself On Fire
Regina Spektor: On The Radio
Death Cab For Cutie: A Lack of Color
Imogen Heap: Canvas
Duffy: Mercy
The White Stripes: We're Going To Be Friends
Adele: Cold Shoulder
The Postal Service: Sleeping In
The Pierces: Kill! Kill! Kill!
The Shins: Australia
Meiko: Piano Song

When God's answer is "maybe"

2009-08-26T11:07:00.001-07:00

I am a firm believer in prayer. I have seen a lot of evidence that God not only hears my prayers, but He also answers them. Like the time I prayed that my friend's living situation would miraculously change and two days later she told me that she moved! Or like the time I was sitting under the stars... squinting to see them in the Sacramento light pollution, and decided to ask God for a shooting star, even though it would be nearly impossible to see, and a few minutes later a bright purple and gold shooting star streamed across the sky! Sometimes it pleases God to answer my prayers with a "yes" almost immediately. Sometimes He answers "no" and I accept it and move on. But I haven't quite figured out yet what to do when His answer is "maybe".

I don't like "maybes". I am a person who likes definitive answers, clear expectations, and trustworthy committment. I like to know where I stand... and how long I'll be standing there. So, naturally, when I ask God for help with something I want a straight-forward answer right away. But sometimes God has other plans...

So, my question and confusion when God's answer is "maybe" is how do I appropriately respond? I mean, I trust God, and I can say I trust God... but then what? Does trusting God mean I sit back and do nothing? Or does it mean that I keep doing what I'm doing until he closes the door? And then what if the "maybe" turns into a "no"... then how do I ward off discouragement? How do I keep hope alive when He answers with "maybe" again in the future?

I'm just sick of "maybes" and I feel myself starting to get frustrated and cynical. When will it be a "yes", Lord?

Woah!

2009-08-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

I haven't made a post on this thing in FOREVER! Almost 9 months! Sheesh. Well, I think it's time to change that. I have a lot rolling around in my head, it's just a matter of finding the time to type it out!

2009...already?!?

2009-01-01T16:02:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of 2009. I wonder what this year holds for me? So far, it seems to include a lot of patience and waiting. I don't like patience, nor waiting...so this could be fun. Hehe...

There are so many things that I want to happen RIGHT NOW, but alas, I must wait. There is so much value in waiting for God's perfect timing. In many past experiences I have forged ahead and expected God to just meet me where I ended up; but now that I am more mature, I would rather follow His lead. The only problem with that is that He's a tricky leader! I really have to pay attention or I get totally distracted and start following all kinds of bunny-trails.

So, this year will be different in that I refuse to forge ahead, and I refuse to follow any path other than the one I see Him leading me down. I have made too many mistakes in my life and for once I want to do it right. So...I wait.

Tic toc...tic toc...tic toc...

Musings

2008-12-22T13:11:00.000-08:00

I'm at work and I'm bored so I thought I'd blog a little. You see, I'm kinda stingy with vacation time, so if I don't have to take it off I won't. Hence why I'm here three days before Christmas and my office is totally empty and dead. Ah well, I'll add it to a longer vacation later...suckas! Hahaha...

Anyway, yesterday in my quiet time I was chatting with God about how frustrated I am with myself. The last few months have been really tough, but through that time my relationship with Him grew by leaps and bounds. I learned so much about my identity, my strength in Him, and his never-ending faithfulness. There were times I would just hold my Bible to my chest and weep, crying, "I don't understand, God...but I stand upon your Word of Truth and put my trust in you." It was a long hard couple of months...

But now things are looking up. My infection is gone and the damage it has done to my skin has made remarkable improvements! I am becoming more social again and finding so much joy in being around people I haven't seen in a while. But, as I gain more confidence, I find myself slipping away from my dependance on God.

I don't understand how to manipulate this teeter-totter. When I'm utterly broken, I know that my soul's sufficiency is Christ. I walk in that and find myself growing and learning at a rapid rate. But then, as soon as things get better, I find myself forgetting what I've learned and reverting back to self-sufficiency and pridefulness. And I HATE being self-sufficient and prideful!

I guess my plight is not a new one, however. Countless times in the Old Testament we see the Israelites humbling themselves before God and repenting of their sinful ways during trying times. But then, when things start getting better, they become selfish and begin worshipping idols and prostituting themselves to false gods again. It's an endless cycle. Often when I read these stories I think, "Really, God? I wouldn't save those selfish, stupid, low-lifes!"...but then I am reminded that I am just like them in so many ways...and then I grin and sheepishly say, "umm....thanks."

I so badly want this time to be different. I want to experience good times AND feel close to God. I want to receive His blessings AND give him all the glory. I want to be broken AND be fully alive and useful to Him. How do I do that? When will I learn?

For now I find grace in the passage in Romans that says, "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Ah The Memories...

2008-11-19T08:41:00.000-08:00

This song's dedicated to you, Tam...

One of my favorites...

2008-10-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite letters from God in the book His Princess. It really speaks to my heart...since I'm always trying to run ahead. God knows what's best for me though, and I trust Him wholeheartedly! Even when it's hard...

Wait on Me, My Princess. My timing is always perfect. I know you're anxious about many things and I see your passion for all the plans I have put in your heart. I know that you long to fly, and I see your enthusiasm. However, just as a vinedresser nurtures the vine and waits patiently for the right moment to harvest the grapes, so too am I working tirelessly to prepare you to bear much fruit. Don't run ahead of Me or try to fly before My plans are complete. Your strength will fail you, and your dreams will wither away. Trust Me that My dreams for you are far greater than you can dream on your own. You will run farther and soar higher if you will patiently wait for the season of My blessing. Draw close to Me now, and I promise that this season of waiting will bring you the sweetest of rewards.

Love,

Your King and Lord of perfect timings

"But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint" (Isaiah 40:31)

The Butterfly

2008-10-23T16:17:00.000-07:00

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly! (Author Unknown)

My Playlist

2008-10-16T15:36:00.000-07:00

Puzzled

2008-09-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

Have you ever watched a small child put a puzzle together? Sometimes it can be a very frustrating experience as an adult, because you can see beyond what they can. Most young kids don't get the concept that a puzzle is actually a picture broken up into pieces, and if you put all of the pieces together a certain way, you can see that picture again. Instead of focusing on the "whole" they get stuck on the "pieces". Once they get it in their head that a certain piece is supposed to go in a certain place, all logic flies out the window. They try with all their might to make the puzzle piece fit, even though it was never intended to fit in that space, and won't help complete the picture in that spot. I have often seen kids twist the piece around and around, trying all possible combinations before they finally give up, and randomly grab another piece. Puzzles are often a very frustrating experience for kids...and the adults who are watching!

This is how my walk with God feels right now. I feel like I'm a kid trying desperately to put the puzzle of my life together. I want my life to have purpose and meaning, and ultimately be beautiful to my Creator. But right now, I am frustrated that my puzzle pieces aren't fitting into place and I can't seem to envision what this is all going to look like in the end. I feel like God is the adult in the situation, staring at the puzzle box thinking, "Wow. This is great! Keep working...you'll get there!" And I'm the kid thinking, "This is too hard. Why don't you just do it for me!" But God refuses. He keeps telling me that He will help me, but he won't do it for me. He even promises to hand me the right pieces, but it's my job to take them from His outstretched hand, and patiently connect each one.

So, that leaves me with a choice. I can either be the kid who throws a temper tantrum, rips up the puzzle, and throws it across the room....or, I can keep diligently trying piece after piece until my puzzle is complete. Although option one sounds tempting...I really want to see what's so great about this puzzle anyway.

"Will you please hand me another piece, God?"

Grapes

2008-09-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

I came across this quote in My Utmost For His Highest yesterday and loved it.

"God's purpose is not simply to make us beautiful, plump grapes,
but to make us grapes so that He may squeeze the sweetness out of us" (Oswald Chambers).

After I mused over this quote for a while I thought, "Wow. The life of a Christ-follower is a strange thing. I'm actually happy, no...delighted! to have the sweetness squeezed out of me!" No wonder the world thinks we're crazy. But I never seem to hear anyone complain when they're the ones who get to taste the sweetness of the Holy Spirit being poured from me onto them. Hmmm....

Pure Joy

2008-08-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

Someone at work forwarded this video to me and titled it “Pure Joy”. The video itself it kind of cute, but it’s the comments below the video that really shook me up. The video is of this guy who decided to do a jig in as many countries as possible and get as many people as possible to join in. He didn’t do it in the name of Christ, or try to show the love of God to anyone, but it’s amazing how many people saw something very spiritual in this. In their comments, people talked about “real joy” and “peace” and “love”. I was so touched because what these people are seeing are characteristics of our Creator. We all have a little God in us (because we were created in His image) and it’s neat when we can see that in people who don’t see that in themselves. This whole concept is best explained in one of my favorite books called Sex God by Rob Bell. You need to read it if you haven’t. Here’s a quote from it:

“The writer of Genesis makes it clear that in all of creation there is something
different about humans. They aren’t God, and they aren’t going to become
God, but in some distinct, intentional way, something of God has been placed
in them. We reflect what God is like and who God is. A divine spark resides in
every single human being.
Everybody, everywhere. Bearers of the divine image.”

That’s what I see in this guy. That’s what those people who wrote comments saw. Our God is amazing and real! He created us to have fun and laugh and enjoy all the things he created for us. When we laugh, sing, and dance, He is right there with us...maybe even doing a little jig!

Jig Video (click here)

Gah!

2008-07-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

I'm so angry at Christians right now! I just don't get how people can use Jesus's name to do horrible, hurtful things to people! It just makes me SO mad! Isn't there only ONE Bible? Aren't people reading the same Good Book that I'm reading?! The Bible I'm reading says the greatest commandments are to love God and love others. The greatest commandment is NOT to judge people for their sin...it is NOT to excommunicate and isolate people...it is NOT to make selfish decisions that hurt people! Also, I don't get how people can do things in Jesus' name, and say that He is the one who told them to do it when it is clear to everyone else that Jesus is NOT the one telling them to do it!! Ok, I know I'm being vague and rambling a bit, but SERIOUSLY! How can people constantly mistake Satan's voice for Jesus's? You can't say you know Jesus's voice if you don't spend time with Him and get to know Him. And if you actually do sit down and get to know Him, you will know what His desires are, what His heart is, what He's passionate about...and your selfish, immature, judgemental, cruel, heartless agenda will fade away in His presence. The word Christian means "little Christ". If you're not willing to live up to the name...then don't call yourself a Christian! Gah!

Brilliant!

2008-06-27T08:54:00.000-07:00

So...Tam and I are pretty much brilliant! Before I went to San Diego to visit her, we came up with the great idea of dressing up in Old Hollywood Glam and taking pictures. You have to have known us for a while to know that this is one of our favorite pastimes. Anyway, Tam's an amazing photographer (see the poem below) so the pictures turned out GREAT! Here's a few... I'm still trying to get the rest of them from Tam.

Hawaiian Blues

2008-06-05T09:41:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Hawaii on Saturday and I've been blue ever since. Sometimes I wonder if it's better NOT to go on vacation, because everytime I get back I go through a little depression. It's so hard to go from being totally relaxed, not a care in the world... to deadlines, and meetings, and school, and pressures from every angle! I miss Hawaii. I miss being carefree. I miss feeling like totally myself, not concerned with anyone but me. I miss the beauty. I miss the people I met. I miss waking up next to my cousin everyday. I miss lying on the beach. I miss eating breakfast outside in the tropical air. I miss dressing up for dinner and taking a million pictures. I miss having a gorgeous guy offer to buy me a drink every time I turn around. I just miss Hawaii. Enough said.

The Mystery Spot

2008-05-13T11:25:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I know I'm a little old for this, but I grew up in San Jose and never went to the Mystery Spot. I had heard about it...and saw countless bumper stickers, but I had never been, even though it's only like 30 minutes from home. Well, when I was home this past weekend, I asked my friend Josh if he'd go with me. He had never gone either, so it was a new experience for both of us.

The Mystery Spot is this weird place in Santa Cruz, CA where nothing makes sense. People appear shorter and taller than normal, balls roll uphill, you lean like crazy, and you feel a little dizzy. Strange. I thought it was really cool, but I don't think Josh was very impressed. He kept getting asked to be a volunteer, even though he NEVER raised his hand. He was a good sport, but definitely not his thing. Ah well, it was fun for what it was. Ha ha ha...

Click on the pic for more pictures!

Outfit for Tam

2008-05-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

I found this incredible outfit for Tam! Let me know whatcha think! Perfect for sunny San Diego weather!!

Hilarious Story!

2008-05-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, at the risk of appearing snobbish or vain, I'm going to share this story...

So Wednesday night while on my way to class, I decided to stop at Pete's Coffee since I had a giftcard there. I walked in and got in line behind a shaved headed guy, probably late 20's early 30's, wearing a tank-top and sporting a whole bunch of tattoos on his muscular arms. I noticed that they were all Christian tattoos...like the Trinity, nails in a heart, and some words in Greek and Hebrew. I was just about to say something (like, "Hey! I'm a Believer too!"), but the lady in front of him beat me to it.

(So this is the part where I might look snobby, but oh well) SERIOUSLY, this lady was probably also late 20's early 30's, but she was wearing a long, button-up floral dress, black lace-up ankle boots (with no heal), no make-up, big glasses, and her frizzy hair was pulled back in a bun. Are you thinking Librarian? Exactly! So anyway, she turns around and stares at his tattoos. Then she touches one on his bicep and says, "Oooo, I LOVE this one! I really like your tattoos!" This guy kinda smiles politely and gives her the, "thanks, but stop talking to me" look. Then he kinda turned around to get out of the conversation and saw me. He did a double take and totally checked me out, so I smiled, and he turned back around. When he did, she was still staring at him...just staring! Then she pulled this long necklace out of the front of her dress and held it up right in front of her chest and said, "See? I really like this symbol....I never take it off!!" (It looked Celtic, so I'm thinking she was thinking his Trinity tattoos were Celtic). I was starting to feel a little sorry for her, and then I noticed when she was talking, that she had this huge black thing (probably pepper or something) stuck in her teeth...oh so sad! She was grinning from ear to ear and kinda posing with her hand on the counter...TOTALLY flirting!! Anyway, again, he kinda politely smiled at her and turned, and looked at me again, and then turned back around. I was laughing inside by this point...(poor guy!).

Then she got her coffee...and he got his...and I ordered mine. While I was waiting, they were both at the milk and sugar station. NO JOKE...she pulled her hair out of her bun and was swishing it all around and talking to him again about his tattoos! She was like kinda throwing herself at him! Ha haha hhahaha!! I was trying SOOO hard not to laugh out loud! He was just being super polite and listening to her talk. She was telling him about how much she loves martial arts, and she wanted to know all about the book he had with him. Then he was like, "well, I'm going to go read now" and she smiled HUGELY and said, "Well it was SOOO nice talking to you!!!" He was like, "uhh...yah...you too." Then started to walk out the door and stopped and looked at me again and smiled sadly. I could just IMAGINE what was going through his head! Ha hahahahh haahaha hha!

So she grabbed her coffee and pranced out the door on Cloud 9...swishing her hair all the way. I can just imagine she got to her car and checked herself out in the rearview mirror and saw that huge black thing and was like, "NO!!!!" Seriously, poor girl. Sheesh!

After I got my coffee I walked out to my car and that guy was sitting at a table by it. He looked and me and smiled and nodded...I smiled back. I can't help but think he was thinking... "why couldn't it be HER instead?" LOL, you had to be there!!

It was like a scene STRAIGHT out of a movie! I left there laughing hysterically, I know...you're thinking..."Lisa, you're a terrible person!" Whatever...you would have laughed too!

Cheesey poem I wrote for Tam...

2008-04-29T11:29:00.000-07:00

Tam and Her Cam

I have a good friend named Tamara,
who has a love affair with her camera.

Day and night she snaps its shutter,
at things that are still, and things that do flutter.

She takes pictures of friends, and pictures of foe,
pictures she's proud of, and some she won't show.

Some of her pictures will cause you to giggle,
and dance and sing and possibly wiggle.

Some of her pictures will make you cry,
cuz there's so much emotion in his or her eye.

At some of her pictures you'll "ooo" and "aww"
their stunning, and brilliant, and real, and raw.

She has a talent with pictures, it's true.
If you're lucky, she might photograph you!

5 Things Meme

2008-04-03T10:17:00.000-07:00

It’s another 5 things meme and it has rules:
Each player answers the five questions about themselves.
At the end of the post, the player tags five more people, posts their names and then goes to their respective blogs where they must leave a comment letting them know that they have been tagged to play along.
What was I doing ten years ago?
1. School
2. Dance
3. Piano
4. Guitar
5. Taking crazy pictures with Tam!!

Five things currently on my to-do list:
1. Go on a cruise to Hawaii in May
2. Go on a cruise to Mexico in June
3. See Tam
4. Finish Grad School
5. Meet someone special! Ha ha ha...

Five snacks I enjoy:
1. Chips (especially tortilla chips)
2. Cookies
3. Apples and Peanut Butter
4. Cheez-its
5. Chocolate

Five things I would do if I was a billionaire:
1. Buy houses, cars and stuff for my family and maybe a few close friends
2. Buy myself a house, car, etc.
3. Tithe $100,000,000...that's 10%, right?
4. Buy a husband....ha ha ha...J/K
5. Start a non-profit organization to speak to teens about healthy sexuality

Five of my bad habits:
1. Throwing my clothes on the floor (good one Tam!)
2. Eating too much junk
3. Emailing too much at work
4. Not keeping track of what needs to be done on my car
5. Doing my makeup while driving to work

Five places I have lived:
1. With my parents in San Jose
2. An apartment in Sacto
3. Elton house in Sacto
4. Current casita
5. Umm...I foresee that someday I'll live somewhere else.

Five jobs that I have had
1. Sales Rep at Old Navy
2. Admin Assistant at a Design & Marketing Firm
3. Nanny
4. Preschool Teacher
5. Current...Sac State

My five tags:
1. Big Bird
2. Elmo
3. Miss Piggy
4. Dumbo
5. Goofy

YAY!!!!

2008-03-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

Starfield came out with a new album today!! YAY!!! They are the most amazing band EVER! Unfortunately their Spring tour won't make it to California.... otherwise I'd be there in the front row!

I LOVE THEM!!

http://www.starfieldonline.com

Easter Egg Extravaganza!

2008-03-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

So basically Easter is a pretty big deal with my family. Every year since I was little my grandad would put on this extravagant Easter Egg Hunt for all of my cousins and me. He would put things like candy and coins in the eggs, but he would also put things like snails, and nuts and bolts to try to throw us off. He is a real prankster, so it was really funny to see what he would come up with. This year, the adults decided that since none of us are small kids anymore, they would revamp the Easter Egg Hunt to make it a little more exciting. They put the names of several giftcards in some of the eggs, which would be redeemable after the hunt, so we would try harder to find them. The adults (my parents, aunts, and uncles) all decided that they wanted to participate too since the prizes were so good, so about five of them joined in. We had to wait on the front porch while my grandad hid them all.

Like I said, people were really competitive this year, so there was A LOT of pushing, shoving, elbowing, etc. by mostly my mom and aunt. They blocked the front door almost completely until my wise, elderly grandmother said the most beautiful words I've ever heard. Quietly from the back of the crowd, my grandma said, "Now listen up everyone, Lisa found the fewest eggs last year, so Lisa gets to go first." I nodded my head in agreement and proceeded to the front. I think I experienced what Moses did when the Red Sea parted, because I sauntered to the front unharmed. When I made my way to the door, everyone crashed in behind me, just like the when waters crashed onto the Egyptians. It was glorious. Shortly after, the golden front door swung open and the crowd raced to the backyard. I jumped off the porch and dove into the nearby bushes. A green one! A red one! A purple one! What an exhilarating experience!

Within five minutes I had found seven eggs! Which may not sound like a lot, but when twelve people are all ready to fight for the death for these little gems, trust me, it's a lot. My brother-in-law and my aunt actually tied me for first. I got a $15 giftcard to Coldstone, so I did the "right thing" and traded my brother-in-law for Starbucks. What girl needs $15 worth of ice cream...right? So, at the end of the day, I ended up with $15 at Starbucks, and $1 worth of pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters....and an experience I will never forget. Thank God for families, and thank families for family traditions!

Thank Goodness!

2008-03-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

So a few weeks ago I took one of the WORST finals EVER!! The class was Psychopharmacology and I was supposed to memorize all these drugs (generic and brand name), their class, function, side effects, controversial issues, etc. The only problem is....my teacher didn't tell us ANY of that! She was super evasive on what to study, so when I got my final, I totally panicked and thought for sure I failed. Well, I got the results back last night and I (miraculously) got an 83%!! She TOTALLY graded easy and gave me credit for things that really should have been marked wrong. So now I have mixed emotions. On one hand, I'm soooooo happy that I passed! On the other, I know that information is really important for me to have learned and I definitely didn't learn it. Oh well, at least I don't have to pay $800 to retake the class! Ha!

Personality Test

2008-03-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

I found this cool personality test on Jenni's blog. You should check out my results, and then do one for yourself! Self-awareness is muy importante!
My personalDNA Report

Spring Cleaning

2008-03-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't used my blog in like a year! I decided it's time to clean it up and start new. It is Spring afterall! If you've seen my blog before, you'll notice that I've changed a few things. #1 I got a new background...isn't it purty! #2 Got rid of all the old stuff. #3 New picture #4 I'm actually going to use it this time! Ha!